My name is Aspen, and I'm a carnivore biologist who currently does research on American gray wolves at Wake Forest University in North Carolina, USA. This past summer, I had the opportunity to study and work in Tanzania, studying carnivore conservation and mitigation. This experience gave me a great perspective regarding differing predator management techniques and attitudes.
My Story
Ever since I can remember, I have loved animals. When I was 3 years old, I decided I wanted to be a zookeeper, and would spend hours drawing out maps for my dream zoo. Growing up, I can hardly remember a time when I didn't want to pursue a career involving animals. I was homeschooled through eighth grade, and I spent a lot of afternoons tracking raptors that lived in and around my backyard. My favorites were the ospreys and the bald eagles; both species nested only a couple thousand yards away. Briefly in college, I considered becoming a criminal psychologist, since I'm very good at reading people. Then, I pretty much concluded that humans are too awful to deal with, and switched back to animals.
WHY WOLVES?
Though I always appreciated wolves growing up and had seen them before, it wasn't until I was in college when I had a personal connection with them. I had multiple encounters with sexual assault and abusive relationships, but it culminated in my being raped in my own bed. I didn't leave my room for at least two days from shock- and that got rid of any biological evidence I could have used in court. The perpetrator never faced consequences, and still attends school there. It is extremely common for rape/abuse victims to go into disassociation. Essentially, I spaced out from my body and watched myself do normal things like walk and talk and even laugh- but deep inside, I was completely empty. Every day for the first month or so, the numbness took me to thoughts of suicide, and a lot of other unpleasantries. It's also extremely common for victims to hallucinate, especially during vivid disassociation episodes. In the beginning, I often saw a big black she-wolf who walked beside me, would lie beside my bed at night to protect me while I slept, and would attack anyone associated with the event. Later, I named her Raksha, after Mowgli's mother from "The Jungle Books". These days, I've healed up pretty decently, but the spaced-out visions of Raksha helped me through the worst period of my life more than any therapist. So did real animals. I tended to stay by myself, and sought out the company of dogs, a murder of crows outside of my dormitory, feral cats, and even snakes. Perhaps that was another reason I switched away from a career in criminal psychology- animals were better to me than any human. A wolf, after all, had not nearly killed me. A human had.
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Just for Fun.
Onto more fun topics, here's just a bit more about me.
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